Visable Jackets for Naughty Children? Why it won't work!

Usually I would have a little rant on social media about the things I am passionate about but I thought this massive rant needed a blog.

 

If anybody knows me and has read my rants on social media I am so passionate about the way we get affected when we are children as I believe its the things we experience, hear or don't understand makes us the person we become as we are growing up and into Adults. So you can imagine my shock horrow when I heard the news this morning about the school introducing visable jackets for "naughty" children.

 

Well this is my belief, not saying I am right but through all my training and personal development and the things I have felt and overcome this is what I believe. I believe there are reason's children "misbehave" and these are my reasons

 

a) because they do not know and understand

b) because something is the matter

c) because they don't understand their emotional feelings

d) because their is a more deeper reasons

e) they could have learning difficulities and find it difficult to express how they are feeling/struggling.

 

It's well known in this country that we are not allowed to feel sad, struggle or feel anxious. Emotions are so powerful and if we don't understand them we can spiral out of control. We even have to go to the doctors to get a pill if we feel down - what does that tell you. We are better if we are happy! We are not told often enough it is ok to not feel ok, so is it any wonder a lot of us suffer.

 

So the worst thing you can do to someone is to single children out and wear visable jackets - who makes up these rules and what is their reason behind it I would like to know. That will really affect them as they are growing older and its not fair!  I tell you what would work is have professional coaches/Specialists and NLP and other professionally trained people who know why we feel and behave the way we do and what needs to happen to make the changes in children/people - no wonder people grow up feeling the way they do! Its not their fault!

 

I attended one of Harry Singha's events - he is an amazing Coach who has brought Life Coaching training into Schools. And he told us a story about a boy who kept getting sent out the class for misbehaving. The real reason he misbehaved was because he didn't understand what was being taught and he's rather be sent out of the class for being naughty than admitting he didn't know. That is so sad. Have you ever felt you still don't understand something and see the frustration in the person's face/tone who is teaching you? it because it is so clear to them and it's because they know and you don't and we feel terrible to keep on asking.

 

I was at a meeting last night with a company I do some work for and one of their students who attends college received feedback from the college to say the student in question had really misbehaved and been disruptive. The real reason - he had aspergus and he finds learning difficult - is this his fault?

 

I would be really interested to hear from other people in my profession or a simular role and your thoughts on this. As I feel more Personal Development needs to be brought into Schools to stop this from happening. I don't blame the Teachers either it must be frustrating for them to deal with behaviour that is beyond their control. But I often wonder to myself why we don't teach children Personal Development. I know more and more things are being done as I see Coaches and Speakers going into Schools and this needs to carry on. I only found out at 33 years old why I was quiet as School, why I had low self esteem and had no confidence. Why I stood in the corner at Playschool at didn't speak to anyone. In my opinion I am grateful I am still young enough now to continue my life as a happy and confident one. But really we should start this the moment we are born - teaching our children about life and feelings.

 

And yes I did get in trouble at School, I had detentions, I skived, I messed up my GCSE's, I went out with the bad boy who got expelled, but you know what there were reasons I did and it wasn't my fault. And through my own learning and development I am now a Happier Person than I used to be because I now know and understand.  

7 Step Guide to Creating the Ideal Life Balance for you..

 

Especially for Fellow Mums working, in business or Fulltime Mummys looking to go back to work <3

I am not going to keep this from you as I want you all to know that what I am telling you I speak from experience and I want to share with you my tips and techniques that helped me dramatically to get my ideal balance when my business took over my life a couple of years ago . I am not afraid to tell you that 2 years ago I thought I was running a successful business and nothing else should matter, I thought as long as I did the VAT returns, logged the accounts, looked after my daughter , did the housework that was it! How wrong was I - I am not sure if I was wrong or I just went with it because it was easier and I wasn't important. Yep you got it I thought I had to be doing the things I was doing because I had too, what I wanted and remember this is only my thinking, didn't matter. In the end I burnt myself into the ground and the business I thought was successful wasn't and I nearly lost it all. So let me share with you how I dramatically turned things around for the better.......ps I have a secret to tell you at the end too :)

 

Step 1 - STOP!!!!!!!!!! BREATHE and MENTALLY STEP AWAY FROM THE CHAOS AROUND YOU...

Done it? Good now your ready to take the next Step...

Step 2 - Write down the key areas of your life that are important to you, YES to YOU. Score between 1 - 10 with 10 being the most satisfied you are in each area...

E.g   FAMILY, CAREER, MONEY, HEALTH, FRIEND/FAMILY, ROMANCE, PERSONAL GROWTH AND LEARNING AND FUN LEISURE & RECREATION. You can use these or add your own it's important you use what is important to you. This exercise is based on the wheel of life exercise - if you would like a copy to complete this on please email me lucy@virtuelifecoaching.co.uk it's a brilliant visual aid to do an audit on your life.

How are your scores looking? They can't be any worse than mine was ... I was between 0-3 for most of them. That's when it dawned on me my life was sure out of balance.  Lets get these scores up for you on to the next steps..

Step 3 - Create Goals...

 

How many of you have Goals? How many of you achieve the Goals you set?  Goals are great things to have for you to achieve the things you want in life.

If you want a copy of my quick guide on how to set goals and achieve them please email me lucy@virtuelifecoaching.co.uk where I will forward you a copy.

 

Step 4 - Do something for yourself and Recharge...

 

Because when we are running out of steam and burning ourselves out we then become stressed, tired and can't keep on top of things. Recharge yourself and achieve a whole lot more!! This could be a pamper, bath's, going out with friends, chilling out in front of a movie with a glass of vino, taken some time out to read a book or do something for you such as a hobbie, interest or exercise.

Step 5- Design your own life and write your own script of life...

 

Too often we all think on what we have to do and meant to be doing - I still haven't found out who wrote those rules that we often think we have to follow. Who says we have to? this is your life, your dreams, make your own rules up. After all we are all different with different aspirations and goals so why do we think we have to follow the same script!

 
 

Step 6- Scheldule time in to do the things that are important to you.
 

I created a weekly plan and colour coded each area of my life that was hugley important to me.  I also created a picture board with pictures of my friends, family, partner, diploma, and everything else I wanted in my life and I pinned both my weekly plan and my picture in the kitchen where I saw it everyday. I also book things in the diary even if the girlie night is 6 weeks away inleast it's in the diary and it will happen.  

 

 

Step 7 - Get ready to make those changes in your life - it's going to be great!!

Tell everyone around you because this will affect them - one night Daddy will have to put the children to bed, or take them to the Park one day or even visit the sink and do the washing up. Let me tell you something as well what I have found out through all of this - all you have to do is ask your other half to do something! I know I thought the same - why doesn't he offer but I found it out all you have to do is ask! after all they just get on with doing things for themselves so they think we would do the same. So just do it!

I hope this has helped you if  you sometimes feel your life can get a  bit wobbly and out of balance. Before I sign off I told you I had a secret, well let me share it with you. I told you this was a 7 step guide well I lied, let me reveal my secret, I have a gift for you. An extra step - and I want you all to do this.....

 

Step 8  -Don't feel guilty

 
Instead feel guilty when you are feeling stressed and tired and you are snapping at your children, you've lost control of your business, you and your partner are arguing, even worse arguing infront of your children and the scores you have scored for the things that are important to you are below a 5! Because when our lives are out of balance we feel ourselves tipping over the edge and what is the point of working so hard and running about every where if you are going to become ill and stressed, feel resentment  and loose the ones that care for you around you because of it.

 
I give you all Permission to do the things that matter the most to you and I ask you to give yourself permission to do the same.

 
Lots of Love and Happiness

 

Lucy xx

I’m an employee get me out of here!!

Lateness, unproductivity, frequent absences, conflict between staff members, loosing sales, not enough sales, customer complaints, no happy customers, bad cash flow, loosing money, high staff turnover, recruitment costs, headaches, stresses, have I said them all? There are probably lots more things that can happen to your business and you once your staff become unmotivated!

 

Keeping staff motivated at work can be the most challenging task a Manager or Business Owner has. Once a member of staff becomes unmotivated things can spiral out of control and have a detrimental effect on businesses.

This is why is it crucial to keep employees motivated so they can carry out their job role to its full potential and enable a business to sustain in the economy and grow.

So what can we do as an employer to keep our staff motivated? Payrise? Company Car? Bonuses? More Responsibility? Regular Reviews? They seem like the obvious things, but really who knows!!!! And how do we know they will work?!! Some may work for some people but things like a payrise, company car and bonuses only work for a little while and when Timmy in Sales gets a better car then Tommy, Tommy is going to start to get dissatisfied with his and want the same. And yes you got it more money expenditure burning a hole in the cash flow!

The truth is we all get motivated by different things -Most people believe it or not are not motivated by Payrises, Money or Material things. Some people just want a simple hello to them in the morning it may sound simple but to be acknowledged as part of the company is a big thing for people and what does it cost employers nothing!!

Everyone is individual, everyone gets motivated by different things so why do we second guess, treat everyone the same and at the same time throw away lots of money to things we are not sure are going to work. Some people don’t like responsibility they just may like coming into work, seeing people, doing their work and going home again whilst other people thrive on more responsibility, love a challenge and not really bothered if they have a chat with Janine by the water cooler about last weekend's XFactor.

I have just become part of an exciting new tool called Motivational Maps – this tool is brilliant and truly goes along in what I believe in. This tool is a great starting point for Employers and Employee’s to understand the people in their team and their colleagues. Part of the battle in life is understanding people; once we do we can then work on how to communicate with them, how to treat them and what works for them and what doesn’t.

When I left my other business last year I was on a mission to go in and work with employers and their employees and create happier and successful work forces. Experience has told me from being an employee, employing my own staff, working with people and helping people back to work there is a need. I want people to enjoy going into work, if I see another comment on my Facebook feed about the dreadful thing that it is Monday again and they don’t want to go to work I may have to delete them from my friends list or better still find out where they work and work with them. Face it guys we have to work, so we may as well enjoy it – right? After all we spend three quarters of our life working so why would we want to feel that negative and depressed for all that time, why would we want to do that to ourselves?!!!! I love my work, my map told me I get motivated by being the expert and wanting to shine. That is why I am in this job - I want to inspire people and help people to become successful. If only my old boss knew this, if she did she would have kept one of her best members of her team as I loved what I did but not how I was being treated. Wouldn’t it be great if we just knew the simplest thing – What motivates my staff? It could mean just a hello for some!

I am currently taking bookings for any Employers/Business Owners/Managers who express an interest in Motivational Maps and want to find out more about them and how my coaching programs can help them and their staff/teams. If you would like to arrange a 1hr free consultation with me – please contact me on 07788 988018 or send me an email lucy@virtuelifecoaching.co.uk where I can arrange a meeting with you.

Employee's make the world go round, without them our businesses would not be able to grow. We need Employee's to work for businesses like its their business. Lucy Flanagan.

 

 

 

 

Be your own Boss...It's my time to Shine

Ok so here I am standing face to face with Richard Reed the Co Founder of Innocent Smoothie - the guy who was going to invest in a business that he thought would be worth investing in. This is it.... my time to shine........

 

Wow...I can't believe I was in front of camera's, crew, production team and Richard Reed and I had just pitched my business. Richard loved what I did and said he strongly believes in what I do as he believes coaching really works, he told me I was my  product so I just need to get out there and do my thing and make those calls. I didn't think he wanted to invest in me and I had a feeling that this was the case so I turned him as quick as a flash from an investor to a prospect - I pitched to him about coming in to work with his staff - he politely declined the offer and said he had coaches already. Oh well it was worth a try!

 

One lady I wanted to see there was a well known Executive Coach and Occupational Psychologist, she was working on the show along Richard as one of his Business Experts. I managed to speak to her at the end of the day and boy did she give me a grilling - a very tough confrontation to say the least. She dissed my business, my business name, my title as a Life Coach and my business idea - ouch!!! she was worse than pitching to Richard!! But you know she had a point.........which you will find out soon why!

 

Well I don't know if you can guess and I don't want to disappoint you all but I didn't make it passed this stage but I have to say this whole experience was a brilliant one and I took away so much from it and learnt alot too. I'm not sure if I will get any air time even though I was in front of the camera and I did a seperate pitch in the pitch hut too in front of a camera so I maybe. But I didn't do this for fame I did it because I saw an opportunity and I ceased it. Even though it didn't go the way it was intended too I gained so much from it. I learn't alot to take to my businesses which will be launched very soon. I thank Richard and Felicity (the Executive Coach) for their advice and tips because I have acted on them and am very excited for the future. And do you know who will be my first phone call to sell my new programme?........Well I've already approached him already but as they say persistance is key! Would Richard's investment of helped me? - yes it would have....but this is my dream, my venture and my mission.

Make sure you watch......BBC 3 @ 9PM Wednesday 12th September

 

 

My debut on Be your Own Boss TV Show....

You may remember a few months ago back in May, I was faced with a challenge of selling cakes and face painting at Devon County Show. Even though this challenge was a great one, it wasn't something I set my self personally and some of you might have wondered why I was doing it well let me now tell you what this was for.......

Back in April I am in the car listening to Radio One and Richard Reed the Founder of Innocent was on there promoting his new show Be Your Own Boss, he was looking for people who was or wanted to start up in Business to invest in. Ok so I applied for the Apprentice last year and got through to the auditions but didn't make it past the first round of the auditions - failed at the first post. But this wasn't going to put me off - I have a passion in my business and if I can get an investment from a Sucessful Enterperner than I am going to give it a try.

So I completed the application and got through to the phone interviews. They were only putting 500 people through to the next challenge so my hopes weren't hopeful but I knew I could still be in with a chance so I waited for the email to confirm I had been selected as one of the final 500, let the amazing experience begin.

 

The Challenges

Yep you got it this is where I had to sell cakes and facepainting at the Devon County show to show my business skills, and thank you for the support of my lovely friends and family it was a great sucess. I am so impressed with the facepainting my friends did - Niki and Chris if this business doesn't work out we could have something here :)

 

Meeting Richard

For the second challenge we had to attend an expo put on by Be your Own Boss, we all had a stand and this was the time we had to sell our idea to Richard. I did my pitch to a business mentor and ceased the opportunity to grab Richard to sell my idea. With the camera's on me and Richard infront of me this was it...........

 

Find out in tomorrow's blog inline with the show starting tomorrow evening how I did.......